Homeschooling: Both Sides of the Coin

Unless you're a homeschooling parent, you are likely wondering why anyone would post about school right now; the kids just started summer break in much of America. Well, I found myself in a different position this June than the previous four years. Oh, I am again trying to recoup money by selling Homeschool curriculum that I am through with...which happens to be all of it.  After teaching our children their academics for four years, we made the decision to "put them in school". I added quotes around that phrase, because I learned that to many (people) in the homeschooling community, those are almost like dirty words.

So, here's the deal: our family has experienced, therefore I feel, has a somewhat educated opinion on, most types of schooling. Our teenage son began his school career in public school. When I began teaching him at home, (actually on the road, out of a fifth wheel camper - maybe another blog), I started teaching our oldest daughter the basics: reading and math. For four years, through the death of their Daddy, a 1200 mile relocation, marriage to my second husband, and the birth of our baby, I continued to be their "primary teacher". Halfway through last school year we decided to enroll them both into school. Our son into a private Christian school and our daughter into a public charter school. That's somewhat of a timeline, now before I give you any more details about each experience, I want to touch on something else a bit.

 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.  Proverbs 22:6

For those of you following my blog, I realize that I just used this scripture quote a few days ago, but wow, it's really a good one! So much truth, and so much instruction for us parents in those few words. (Chances are, you'll see it in my blog again sometime.) God expects US to "train up our children".  Does that mean that we MUST homeschool them to fulfill God's expectations of us?  I don't believe so. Does it suggest that we are not good Christian parents if we send our children to public school?  I think not.  Are Christian schools a better option for us? That depends on many variables. Are we able to answer our calling of parenting if the kids are "off to school" for 6 hours a day?  If we try. I believe that we are to set a good foundation when they are young. How early should we start, the day they are born. That's my point. Our children are learning from us all the time, even when you think they are not. So, the question while deciding just how, where and from whom your children will learn academics, is just that...it's not necessarily who will teach them their morals, because that should be you anyway.

 I guess the real point of this post is to promote more tolerance of each other's schooling choices. The day I started teaching our children (academics) I declared that it was on a "year at a time basis". I was not ready to commit to a lifetime of homeschooling, but as I began teaching them, I really enjoyed it, so I continued. Yet, I was still not a "do or die" homeschool mom (not like I am with breastfeeding). There are definite perks, and obvious pitfalls of homeschooling. Some negative issues that we experienced include: the cost of purchasing all the books and any other teaching aides you might want, the need to be very disciplined in staying on track, lack of time with peers, neglect in certain areas of education,  the children needing a larger variety of adults "to answer to", too many disruptions from younger siblings, (and maybe a distracted Mom on the phone or computer from time to time!).  These are just a few, and I know that there are solutions to most, and maybe even all of them.  On the other hand, the benefits are totally awesome.  We get to choose what books/curriculum we use, or we can use computer courses, our times and days are flexible, we get to choose who are children spend time with, we choose what subjects we spend the most time on (based on strengths/weaknesses and interests), big brother and sister get to spend more time with each other (that may be a perk or a downfall), they get to spend more time with baby sister, we have more time to impress our moral and character standards on them. 

Interesting, huh? The pros and cons are reciprocal, yet opposite. Can it be? Well, OUR homeschooling era fit our life situations nicely. We took advantage of things such as Homeshool P.E. class, music lessons, co-ops, church groups, etc. However, situations change. Children grow. Our expectations change. Sometimes you need to reevaluate. We did, and decided that with a middle schooler and a fourth grader, it was time to "plug them in". That was what we deemed the best for OUR family and mostly looking long term for OUR kids. 

In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.    Matthew 5:16

I mentioned that our son attended public school prior to our homeschooling. It was a small school in very upstate New York-total students at that time was about 900 for grades K-12. It was the school I attended as a child; a decent school, by my standards. Were there things I didn't like? Absolutely. Were there some good teachers? Absolutely. Were there some bad ones? Yes. And yes, there likely were some good and some bad kids, too. That was elementary, so I can't REALLY say that there were more options or that the school could offer more at that time, but it was not a bad experience.

Fast forward to about 6 months ago. Our daughter entered a charter school here in Florida. I had never heard of such a thing until moving here. Anyway, for others that are unaware of what they are, basically they are smaller public schools that focus on "something", generally the arts. The one we were able to enroll her in focused on reading. They wear uniforms (which I LOVE the idea of), and promote things  such as respect and obedience (according to wall art and posters). It was not a terrible experience, but I am not sure that it was so different from any public elementary school in our area. We found that there were "good rules" in place, but not necessarily enforced. Not a terrible experience, but not the perfect one either. About the same time, we enrolled our son into a Christian school. Again, uniforms, and lots of promises (per the parent and student handbooks) to "run a tight ship", to expect things like respect, organization and responsibility to name a few. The school held true to it's word, on one occasion I drove back to school after dropping him off, to take his forgotten belt. He could not attend classes without it. Extreme? What if he in a few years shows up to work without his "tools" (whatever they may be)?  This is the sort of thing he wasn't exactly learning at home. I was a bit lax in some of my expectations. You know, school in Pajamas, you've all heard the stories, and if you are a homeschooler;  C'mon, fess up, you know you've done it! Then there are things like sports, music, drama, languages, and other "extras" that are so easily available in a school situation. And I personally love the idea of Bible being taught daily, and Chapel happening weekly.  Probably the most obvious, and the biggest negative of a private school is the cost (eliminating this option for some families). If cost is a factor, but you would like the option of a private school, do a little research, some states have scholarships available. Anyway, is this private school a perfect school, no. There is no perfect school.

Fear of the LORD is the foundation of true knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline. Proverbs 1:7

There is no perfect schooling situation. There will always be something lacking, or something too much. You may not see it, or notice it now, or ever, but there WILL always be someone with an opinion that will kindly point it out to you. I have heard it all. The naysayers about homeschooling, the die hard homeschoolers that pretty much verbally attacked me  when we decided to enroll our children. The thing is, we need to each decide what fits OUR family, OUR kids the best...for all aspects of growing, teaching, nurturing their relationships with the Lord, raising them with a healthy fear (respect) of Him. What fits now, may not fit next year. What fits one child may not even fit the next child in the same family. Pray about it, make sure you are making decisions for all the right reasons. I have heard too many stories where kids are pulled from school really just due to a personality conflict with the teacher, guess what...there will always be personality conflicts in life, we shouldn't teach our children to run from unpleasant things, they are a part of life. I also want to add this thought...if your family is not able to homeschool or enroll in private school, but that would be the desire of your heart, focus on your child(ren) being a light for Jesus in the public school, just by example.

We need to decide for ourselves, and need to encourage others, then we need to support their decision(s). May God bless your summer and next school year, wherever you find yourself and your kids. Happy schooling!

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject. Tell me what you think, even if I won't like it. I'll just put on my big-girl panties!