Homeschooling: Both Sides of the Coin

Unless you're a homeschooling parent, you are likely wondering why anyone would post about school right now; the kids just started summer break in much of America. Well, I found myself in a different position this June than the previous four years. Oh, I am again trying to recoup money by selling Homeschool curriculum that I am through with...which happens to be all of it.  After teaching our children their academics for four years, we made the decision to "put them in school". I added quotes around that phrase, because I learned that to many (people) in the homeschooling community, those are almost like dirty words.

So, here's the deal: our family has experienced, therefore I feel, has a somewhat educated opinion on, most types of schooling. Our teenage son began his school career in public school. When I began teaching him at home, (actually on the road, out of a fifth wheel camper - maybe another blog), I started teaching our oldest daughter the basics: reading and math. For four years, through the death of their Daddy, a 1200 mile relocation, marriage to my second husband, and the birth of our baby, I continued to be their "primary teacher". Halfway through last school year we decided to enroll them both into school. Our son into a private Christian school and our daughter into a public charter school. That's somewhat of a timeline, now before I give you any more details about each experience, I want to touch on something else a bit.

 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.  Proverbs 22:6

For those of you following my blog, I realize that I just used this scripture quote a few days ago, but wow, it's really a good one! So much truth, and so much instruction for us parents in those few words. (Chances are, you'll see it in my blog again sometime.) God expects US to "train up our children".  Does that mean that we MUST homeschool them to fulfill God's expectations of us?  I don't believe so. Does it suggest that we are not good Christian parents if we send our children to public school?  I think not.  Are Christian schools a better option for us? That depends on many variables. Are we able to answer our calling of parenting if the kids are "off to school" for 6 hours a day?  If we try. I believe that we are to set a good foundation when they are young. How early should we start, the day they are born. That's my point. Our children are learning from us all the time, even when you think they are not. So, the question while deciding just how, where and from whom your children will learn academics, is just that...it's not necessarily who will teach them their morals, because that should be you anyway.

 I guess the real point of this post is to promote more tolerance of each other's schooling choices. The day I started teaching our children (academics) I declared that it was on a "year at a time basis". I was not ready to commit to a lifetime of homeschooling, but as I began teaching them, I really enjoyed it, so I continued. Yet, I was still not a "do or die" homeschool mom (not like I am with breastfeeding). There are definite perks, and obvious pitfalls of homeschooling. Some negative issues that we experienced include: the cost of purchasing all the books and any other teaching aides you might want, the need to be very disciplined in staying on track, lack of time with peers, neglect in certain areas of education,  the children needing a larger variety of adults "to answer to", too many disruptions from younger siblings, (and maybe a distracted Mom on the phone or computer from time to time!).  These are just a few, and I know that there are solutions to most, and maybe even all of them.  On the other hand, the benefits are totally awesome.  We get to choose what books/curriculum we use, or we can use computer courses, our times and days are flexible, we get to choose who are children spend time with, we choose what subjects we spend the most time on (based on strengths/weaknesses and interests), big brother and sister get to spend more time with each other (that may be a perk or a downfall), they get to spend more time with baby sister, we have more time to impress our moral and character standards on them. 

Interesting, huh? The pros and cons are reciprocal, yet opposite. Can it be? Well, OUR homeschooling era fit our life situations nicely. We took advantage of things such as Homeshool P.E. class, music lessons, co-ops, church groups, etc. However, situations change. Children grow. Our expectations change. Sometimes you need to reevaluate. We did, and decided that with a middle schooler and a fourth grader, it was time to "plug them in". That was what we deemed the best for OUR family and mostly looking long term for OUR kids. 

In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.    Matthew 5:16

I mentioned that our son attended public school prior to our homeschooling. It was a small school in very upstate New York-total students at that time was about 900 for grades K-12. It was the school I attended as a child; a decent school, by my standards. Were there things I didn't like? Absolutely. Were there some good teachers? Absolutely. Were there some bad ones? Yes. And yes, there likely were some good and some bad kids, too. That was elementary, so I can't REALLY say that there were more options or that the school could offer more at that time, but it was not a bad experience.

Fast forward to about 6 months ago. Our daughter entered a charter school here in Florida. I had never heard of such a thing until moving here. Anyway, for others that are unaware of what they are, basically they are smaller public schools that focus on "something", generally the arts. The one we were able to enroll her in focused on reading. They wear uniforms (which I LOVE the idea of), and promote things  such as respect and obedience (according to wall art and posters). It was not a terrible experience, but I am not sure that it was so different from any public elementary school in our area. We found that there were "good rules" in place, but not necessarily enforced. Not a terrible experience, but not the perfect one either. About the same time, we enrolled our son into a Christian school. Again, uniforms, and lots of promises (per the parent and student handbooks) to "run a tight ship", to expect things like respect, organization and responsibility to name a few. The school held true to it's word, on one occasion I drove back to school after dropping him off, to take his forgotten belt. He could not attend classes without it. Extreme? What if he in a few years shows up to work without his "tools" (whatever they may be)?  This is the sort of thing he wasn't exactly learning at home. I was a bit lax in some of my expectations. You know, school in Pajamas, you've all heard the stories, and if you are a homeschooler;  C'mon, fess up, you know you've done it! Then there are things like sports, music, drama, languages, and other "extras" that are so easily available in a school situation. And I personally love the idea of Bible being taught daily, and Chapel happening weekly.  Probably the most obvious, and the biggest negative of a private school is the cost (eliminating this option for some families). If cost is a factor, but you would like the option of a private school, do a little research, some states have scholarships available. Anyway, is this private school a perfect school, no. There is no perfect school.

Fear of the LORD is the foundation of true knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline. Proverbs 1:7

There is no perfect schooling situation. There will always be something lacking, or something too much. You may not see it, or notice it now, or ever, but there WILL always be someone with an opinion that will kindly point it out to you. I have heard it all. The naysayers about homeschooling, the die hard homeschoolers that pretty much verbally attacked me  when we decided to enroll our children. The thing is, we need to each decide what fits OUR family, OUR kids the best...for all aspects of growing, teaching, nurturing their relationships with the Lord, raising them with a healthy fear (respect) of Him. What fits now, may not fit next year. What fits one child may not even fit the next child in the same family. Pray about it, make sure you are making decisions for all the right reasons. I have heard too many stories where kids are pulled from school really just due to a personality conflict with the teacher, guess what...there will always be personality conflicts in life, we shouldn't teach our children to run from unpleasant things, they are a part of life. I also want to add this thought...if your family is not able to homeschool or enroll in private school, but that would be the desire of your heart, focus on your child(ren) being a light for Jesus in the public school, just by example.

We need to decide for ourselves, and need to encourage others, then we need to support their decision(s). May God bless your summer and next school year, wherever you find yourself and your kids. Happy schooling!

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject. Tell me what you think, even if I won't like it. I'll just put on my big-girl panties!

I Love the Beach, Hate the Mess

This morning I coaxed myself out of bed a little on the early side, about 7:30. It may not seem early to most of you, but since I'm not driving the kiddos to school, I enjoy it very much when I can convince Little Princess (our 17th month old) to lay back down after inhaling a Grabber (a pouch of pureed food).  I'm a night owl, not a morning songbird, actually I'm not a songbird of any kind, morning or otherwise. Anyway, we packed up and headed to the beach. We decided to try a new beach, as a cashier had told me about it just the other day. The recommended beach was Ponce Inlet, a bit further from our house than the more frequented beaches.

We planned last evening, so some prep work was done. I had a plan. With nearly an hour drive, I packed snacks to eat along the way. We would stop for lunch after we'd soaked up our share of sun and water.

 When I got up, our oldest daughter was ready, with a small cooler of drinks packed also. So far, so good. Everyone was ready, everything was packed, and most importantly, everything was clean; salt free and sand free. We hit the road about as planned, just a bit after eight o'clock. The intention was to get our fun in before it was excruciatingly hot. 

And God said, “Let the waters under the heavens be gathered together into one place, and let the dry land appear.” And it was so.  God called the dry land Earth, and the waters that were gathered together he called Seas. And God saw that it was good.  Genesis 1:9-10

Well, after getting the tip from the cashier, I Googled it (of course). I found Lighthouse Point Park. Reviews were awesome. My new GPS agreed that the place existed, so we followed her lead. We drove past a beach ramp in Ponce Inlet, which my husband inquired about. I, however, really wanted to check out this awesome park, so we continued on, only to make a little loop and then enter the park. The park was nice enough, but we didn't necessarily see the beautiful beach which the reviews spoke of, in fact, there was lots of rock. Well, before unloading the baby, we decided to head back to that beach ramp (I know, I know, yes, at this point I am looking a bit sheepish). All were good sports about it (except Princes, she couldn't understand with all that fun out the van window, why we would not release her into it), but within about 5 minutes, our feet were in the sand, ahhhhhh. I love the beach. The sand between my toes, the wind in my hair, the sun on my face, the waves, all of it, I love the beach. To me, personally, nothing shouts God's majesty like standing at the edge of the ocean, observing such an awesome illustration of God's handiwork. Amazing. Relaxing. Awe inspiring. 

He who forms the mountains, who creates the wind, and who reveals his thoughts to mankind, who turns dawn to darkness, and treads on the heights of the earth-- the LORD God Almighty is his name.   Amos 4:13

We had a great time. Some boogie boarding, some riding the waves, some splashing, some digging and building in the sand, a little catch with a football on the beach, and a bit of walking and bird chasing. The weather was perfect, we nailed it. The thing to do, is definitely get an early start. This particular beach was not busy at all on this Wednesday morning. We also learned that if we were to keep driving farther south on the beach, we would end up at that park, there is a boardwalk that takes you from the beach to where we had earlier driven and parked within the lighthouse Point Park. Now we know. 

We bought a beach pass that is available to Florida residents, and is valid throughout the season. Parking right on the beach definitely improves the experience. Hauling all the equipment we took, including one of those pop-up type canopy tents, would not be much fun, if even possible. I wish I were one of those people that could take less to the beach, well, or really anyplace I go. I'm an over-packer, and admit it. And at clean-up time, I really wish I traveled lighter. But my wonderful husband did the majority of packing and cleaning up, and in no time we and all our gear were loaded into the family minivan...salt, sand, and all! We of course did our best to leave the beach at the beach, but it's just all so stinkin' sticky. We drove to Volusia mall to eat the promised lunch. The ride home was a bit cranky; tired, sticky people equals cranky people at times. 

We arrived home with sandy, salty chairs, toys, boogie boards, towels, blankets, cooler and people. Extra laundry, sand in the van, sand in the house, and sand in my hair. I hate the mess!

First thing that needed to be done was clean the people, so into the pool we all jumped. The rest would get done, but most of it after I got a little nap.

It was a good time! I can barely wait until my next trip to a beach, because as much as I hate the mess, I love the beach more!

The next time you are at the beach, don't take it for granted, truly observe, the work of our creator. Be blessed!

Summer Vacation: Destinations?

Does the kids' school break equate to travel?  Should it?  Should vacation time mean going and doing or staying and playing?  Should we spend two and a half months, and an equal amount of income, traveling and frequenting parks, zoos, arcades and amusement parks?

In our home, the kids have officially been on summer break for about three weeks, with nearly eight weeks remaining. This is basically new to our family, the idea of an actual vacation scheduled by someone else. We have homeschooled the last four years, so flexibility was all ours! Yesterday, our son asked "What are we going to do this summer?"  Me, a bit confused with the intention of his question, asked "What do you mean?"  He replies "Well, it's summer, we should do fun stuff". First let me make it known that he is a teen. Yes, that does explain a lot. However, next I would like to mention just what both school aged kids have done since the first of June (either with us or with my friend and her kids) . Let's see, we have been to Orange County Historical Museum,  World's Largest Entertainment McDonald's and PlayPlace, they have been bowling three times total, to the movies twice (well, three times for the teen that was questioning future activities), and on a week long vacation to New York State. Hmmm. Apparently we should have started slower, you know, "lower the bar" so to speak.

Truly, here's the deal; we live in Florida, every day is like vacation. The sun rarely hides it's face, we have a beautiful pool in our back yard, we can go to parks anytime of the year. Plus, we live in Central Florida so there literally is no end to the things we can do, from Disney and all the other amusement parks, to zoos, museums, beautiful county parks; the list goes on. But, it all costs money, right?

This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.            Psalm 118:24

As kids, we loved summer vacation! But honestly, everything was more of a "treat" to us then. First off, growing up in very northern New York we obviously enjoyed the warm weather which usually showed up about the time school released. Then things like going to the park were not even weekly events, by any means. I remember my Dad always saved ALL of his vacation for the month of July. That was our going and doing time. The remainder of the summer we just enjoyed being kids, we knew how to make the most of each day. We knew how to stay busy, because a bored child quickly became a working child in our home. Summer days usually looked a lot like this: some morning chores, lots of play, and very little television, and T.V. was the only screen we had when I was a kid and teen (yes, I know I'm dating myself, but if you read my entry "Mature Parenting", I already gave away my age ).

Truly, though, things are so very different for our kids than they were for me growing up. We lived in the country, and things were safer, we had way more freedom than we can allow our kids. Also, growing up with nine siblings always afforded someone to play with. Variety of activities can prove to be a bit of a challenge. The weather is so beautiful (actually brutally hot and humid) some days, that the only comfortable outdoor activity is anything in the pool area. We swim a lot. Other daytime hours are usually filled up with indoor fun.

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:17

So, I believe, though times have changed, principles and common sense remain the same; a good balance of work, play, friends and travel or day outings should fill out the summer months. All things in moderation.

It seems worth mentioning that when I began listing all of our activities thus far, the teenager in the house agreed, it's been a pretty busy summer to date, and our tween, she said, "Summer should be fun, and mine has been already!"

Personally, I am enjoying summer break, I am looking forward to several trips to the beach, zoo, and some of the county parks. Feel free to comment below on what summer vacation looks like at your house. 

Thanks for stopping by. Share Christ's love with someone today, it will bless you more than it blesses them!

The Church Hunt

If you've ever been on one, you know what I'm talking about. The grass is always greener, right? For those that have always been content at the same church for their entire lives, congratulations (I think)! For you "committed to your pew" people, Let me explain what I am referring to: the process of actively pursuing a new church home, for whatever reason. Sometimes, you get bored, sometimes you get hurt, sometimes staff changes(some of us really don't like change),sometimes it's as simple as you have relocated, so the need for a new church home is obvious and undeniable. In some instances, we feel God is calling us to another church. Then there's the infamous "I wasn't getting fed" excuse. Personally, I've  been on the hunt for more than one of the above reasons.

Hebrews 10:25 "Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching."

After relocating from upstate, NY to central 
Florida about three and a half years ago, I began a major church hunt. In four short weeks we had visited five churches. So many choices, yet no perfect church. No perfect church indeed. Churches are filled with humans. 

There are so many factors involved in determining a home church. Different people hold different qualities as important. Some of the desired attributes can be specific congregation size, building size/age, worship style, children's programming, youth functions, age of pastor,or current debt. Do any of these sound familiar? Then of course there's denomination. If you belong to a denomination, it actually makes your hunt much simpler; your choices will be limited. It seems, from my personal experiences and the feedback from others, those of us that call ourselves Evangelicals are most likely to be church hunting...or maybe even church hopping. You see, we evangelicals are "just looking for a nondenominational, Bible based church".  It seems so simple, yet so complicated.

Seriously, how many Catholics visit different churches? Most often, they just find the one closest to their residence and stick with it. If any issues arise, it just simply sends them to the next closest church. However, when you don't claim a denomination, there are many choices, and many things to be considered, and so, the search can go on for a good long time. You see, we even have the option of trying denominational churches! Imagine that! I think also, evangelicals are more likely to "visit" other churches, just because...or perhaps deep down (so deep that we ourselves don't admit it)we are not happy at our church. The irony of it all is, that when we find a church, it's all we can talk about; how perfect it is. The pastor, the worship, the greeters, the youth opportunities, shoot, we'll even praise the restrooms! We tell all of our friends, as if we need to convince them to attend this "perfect" church. But inevitably, if we were church shopping once, (or five or six times), we likely will find reason to go on the hunt again, right?

Well, this past Sunday, I found myself "just visiting" a new church. A few weeks ago, on our way home from the park, we noticed an unusual amount of activity at a church building that we had driven by several times. I took note of the name on the sign and Googled it. Can you imagine the church hunt prior to the internet? Wow, we would just have to "blindly" attend random churches with no idea what to expect! You see, I never church hunted prior to internet because I was raised Catholic, and, yep, just attended the local Catholic church.

So, what I learned was that an existing congregation had moved to this location; it appeared of interest. Mind you, I'm not even church shopping, or am I?  We have a home church (which, we at best, sporadically attend due to our 17 month old not enjoying it) That brings up more possible reasons to search for a different church...the baby, or any age children. We always want what's best for our kids, don't we? You know a wise friend recently made me really think that one through. We are responsible for teaching our kids about Jesus, and raising them in a godly manner (not our church). If we land our family at a church that is great for the kids, but mediocre in it's teaching the adult congregation, how do we grow so that we can be what our children need us to be?  Hmmmm? Something to ponder, for sure. Yet, sometimes, I feel like subconsciously there's a hope that if we find the right church, perhaps the baby will like it. (Rolling eyes)Sure, our real, live Energizer Bunny that is with me basically 24/7 is certain to find a church that she enjoys, either in the nursery or sitting still and quiet during service.

Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

That visit got me thinking about all of these things. It made me wonder, just how many of us change churches for truly noble, God honoring reasons, and how often, it's just our humanness that leads our way. I have one more thought for you and myself. When we find it necessary to look for a new church, I hope that the first "thing" we look for at perspective churches, isn't a thing at all, but that our primary goal is to find God at whichever church we attend.

I look forward to reading your thoughts and opinions.

Christ's blessings to you all.

Mature Parenting

Behold, Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him. Psalm 127:3

Is 40 the new 30?

If anyone had told me 10 years ago when my second child was born that I would have a 1 year old right now, I would have thought it nonsense. Well, that nonsense is very real, very exciting and very exhausting!

At 29 years old I gave birth to my son.  Nearly 4 years later, my second child, a daughter was born. By my perceived standard, that was a somewhat late start to parenthood. However, I found many blessings buried in being a "more mature parent". Ha! If only I had known then what being a mature parent truly meant.

My second child was born in 2003, fast forward my life to present, 2013. God has blessed my husband and I with a beautiful, spirited, full of energy (the energizer bunny, type of energy) baby girl, that turned 17 months old today. Amazing. Through trials and disappointments, death and life changes, the Lord has been faithful (He always is). Here I am, in my 40s blessed with an inspiring, amazing, loving husband, a busy, busy, nearly toddler, a beautiful, energetic tween and a handsome teen that loves to learn about, well... most anything.  So is 40 the new 30? Well, in some ways, yes it can be. I gave birth just prior to my 42nd birthday (I think my pregnancy experience may be a blog in itself, another day). Yet, on the other hand, one cannot defy the passing of time, or many of the effects it has on a body. 

Mommy or Grandma? What!

I will admit that I was caught a bit off guard the first time someone asked if I was Grandma. What!? I carried this baby for 9 months, endured a natural delivery, and I was the one to get up and nurse her every 2 hours, how could they even ASK such a thing. And if I am looking a little frazzled, and OLD ENOUGH to be her Grandma, well, it's just because...I AM.  I am old enough to be her Grandma, hmmm. The two subsequent times, (oops, three times counting the person in NY)that I was asked, I just silently assured myself that I DON'T look old enough, it's just my mature and diplomatic way of handling myself and my children that led those totally thoughtless people to ask me that question. I am certain as the years pass, and gravity seeks to attack, and time drags more pigment out of my hair, I'll need to be even more convincing in my self-assurance. But, hey it's okay, because I hold the best position available...I am Mom, and now again Mommy.

Train a child in the way he should go,

and when he is old he will not turn from it.

Proverbs 22:6

She'll keep us young or do us in

My husband and I often joke that when our baby girl is in school and we attend events, she will insist that we are her grandparents. But, nah, I don't think so. I think we can come along side the "cool, hip" parents, and maybe even shine in doing so. There's a lot to be said for life experiences. I think that knowledge, and wisdom, and lack of big debts all make you look pretty darn cool! 

Here's to parenting in your 40s, 50s and maybe even 60s. You're only as old as you feel, and as your birth certificate states that you are.  Blessings on your parenting journey, no matter your age.

Let's bring modesty back.

So, today is the day I start my blog. A subject I find so important, so indicative of the hearts and morals of today's "ladies" has surfaced several times on my Facebook news feed in the last couple of days. Of all the topics that have urged me to blog, this one actually convinced me...today is the day.

1 Timothy 2:9 - "And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes." 

Do you consider yourself modest?

modest

adjective

Definition: 1. having a humble opinion of oneself; 2. marked by simplicity, and without being showy or pretentious; 3. not large or excessive; 4. not sexually offensive in conduct or appearance

Chances are that "skin season", or summer, is the reason for so many people talking about modesty or rather, immodesty. The thing is, I live in Florida, where skin appears to always be in season and style. I disagree. Women should learn to respect themselves and those around them. As mothers and role models, we need to teach by example. Our daughters are watching us. If anything, we should take modest, and add just a bit more clothing to it.

 I believe that many women likely think as I did. I felt like I was modest because so many women were wearing worse or less clothing than I was. After all, I covered the important areas pretty good. However, if I was honest with myself, I tried to show my shape pretty good, too! As you read and study God's word, you realize that there is a lot more to modesty than "covering the subject".  I had a (somewhat dirty-minded) English teacher that once said that an essay is like a skirt, it should be long enough to cover the subject, yet short enough to keep it interesting.  If your goal is to keep your skirt (or shorts, or dress) interesting, then you are not honoring God with your clothing.  As Christians our goal should not be to draw attention to ourselves in any way. We are to be humble. Our attitude should be humble. We are to do all things as we are doing them unto the Lord. Beyond the obvious cleavage, and super low riding jeans, and short hemlines, there are other things we need to be aware of. Tight clothing is very suggestive, strapless garments generally draw the wrong attention. Then there's the beach. I am trying to understand why so many women and girls wear bathing suits with the same or less coverage that their undergarments would provide to the beach or pool, yet none of those same women would likely invite hundreds of strangers, men or women into their homes (bedrooms, dressing rooms) to see them in their underwear. It baffles me. Most of us, if not all of us, were taught to always cover our underwear and bras, yet this is what so many display themselves in. 

What sort of attention are these people looking for? God created us sexual beings. Men are very visual beings, that's the way they are wired. So, by all means, look as beautiful as you can for your HUSBAND. Try this, ask your husband if he likes the way you dress for the public. I think most Christian men prefer that you save the sexy, seductive, sensual dress for him, in private.

I know the next two scriptures will be controversial. However, IT IS SCRIPTURE, God's Words, not mine.

Romans 14:21  It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to fall.

Yes, everyone has free will. No you do not MAKE a man sin by wearing immodest or suggestive clothing, but you certainly make it harder for him not to. You have that same free will to dress and act like a lady.

Matthew 5:28  But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Here's the deal with this scripture, the part that should bother us women. It says he has committed adultery WITH the woman, WITH. Do you want to be a part of that?

I hope that this has been food for thought. I hope that you will consider the next generation. Maybe we will be able to look at our Granddaughters and be proud of the way they respect their bodies and the people around them. I suggest a good rule of thumb is if you feel like you look hot or sexy, or people tell you that you do, you might want to save that outfit for the boudoir.

Thanks for stopping by, please come again. I promise, not all of my blogs will be this teachy, preachy, but sometimes, things just need to be said! Christ's blessings on you all!